Mindful Monday: Listening and Personal Presence

One of my meditation colleagues sent me an article on listening that was published in the New York Times this week. The link is below and well worth the read. As I read it, I thought about the discussion I had with my son (33- a nursing executive) explaining personal presence. He said, “Mom is that even a thing?” I google personal presence and sent him a definition. (Old Mawm can still teach you something.)

 My definition of personal presence is how you show up in the world. Someone can tell if you aren’t paying attention to them or are distracted. Personal presence is a state of mindful awareness of everything that is important and allows you to focus on what matters. 

Most meditators have a crisis of confidence and lament, “Am I even doing this right or am I wasting my time?” It’s easy to understand that feeling. If you can concentrate you can meditate and with practice, selective attention begins insidiously to creep into your awareness. Listening to your inner self is great training for how you listen to others.

 Two important quotes from the NYT article that struck me are: “I discovered that listening goes beyond simply hearing what people say. It also involves paying attention to how they say it and what they do while they are saying it, in what context, and how what they say resonates within you.” Understanding how what was said resonates within you creates the framework of good discussion. If something that is said triggers a negative response, a mindful response would be to go back to your meditative practice and investigate it.  Listen inward to listen outward.

“How you listen can work like a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you’re barely listening to someone because you think that person is boring or not worth your time, you could actually make it so. Moreover, listening to other people makes it more likely other people will listen to you.” Don’t be that guy. Don’t be the guy who never takes the time to really listen in the way described in the first quote. You know the talk-over guy, too. Don’t be that guy either.

I recently completed two classes in Proprioceptive Writing with Linda Trichter Metcalf (Writing the Mind Alive, http://pwriting.org/). The Proprioceptive Writing (PW) style goes deep into listening to the expressive mind’s voice. The listening leads to greater personal exposition. After meditation, I start most every morning with a Proprioceptive Write to listen to my innermost thoughts and challenges. Then I start the rest of my writing day before my employed job. When I miss a day of PW, I literally get off on the wrong foot. I love getting all that stuff out on paper, instead of swirling around in my head while I work. Listening inwardly helps me bring personal presence to my day so I can listen outwardly. It’s all about how you show up.

Have a great Mindful Monday!

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The NYT article:

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